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Its nights like this, where I can’t sleep so I lie awake staring off into the darkness, consumed by my thoughts. And that alone is like a nightmare. So much crosses my mind in this moment but it’s mostly you, darling. I think of the way your eyes would light up when you saw me and how your smile had a way of making my heart stop and the sound of your laugh would brighten my darkest day and how your big hands would gently caress my cheek and the way you smell would make my knees weak and a kiss from you would have my head spinning and you always had this way of making everything feel like it was going to be ok.. And when you held me for a long time I would just breathe you all in.. I miss you and all of the little things that make you, you.. After that night that I watched you fade from yourself and turn into that nothingness of a shell, I too, became one. It haunts me to know that I caused it.